Understanding Social Anxiety and Social Phobia
Are you frozen in social situations, heart racing as you desperately try to appear 'normal'? Does the thought of certain interactions leave you strategically planning every detail—from googling ‘social anxiety help’ ahead of situations, to rehearsing conversations in your head? Social anxiety affects millions, yet often goes unrecognised.
Social anxiety shows up in two key ways: interpersonal anxiety (fear during social interactions) and performance anxiety (distress when being observed or evaluated).
It's not just about being 'shy' or introverted—it's about experiencing genuine fear and distress in social situations, whether that's during casual conversations with others, or when you're the focus of attention.
You might find yourself developing sophisticated coping strategies: avoiding eye contact during social interactions, over-preparing for presentations, or always having a prop nearby. Some situations might feel manageable, while others trigger overwhelming anxiety—and that's perfectly normal. Many people experience both types of anxiety, with different situations triggering different responses.
Understanding which type of social anxiety you are experiencing can be the first step toward feeling more comfortable in these situations.
Interpersonal Anxiety
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Social Gatherings
House parties
Birthday celebrations
Family gatherings
Casual meetups
BBQs and picnics
Dinner parties
Day-to-Day Interactions
Small talk w
Chatting with shop assistants
Phone calls
Asking for help/directions
Group chat conversations
Coffee catch-ups
Work/Professional
Team lunches
Office social events
Networking events
Casual workplace chat
After-work drinks
Team building activities
Group Dynamics
Friend group meetups
Group conversations
Being part of a team
Social clubs/groups
Class discussions
Committee meetings
One-on-One Situations
First dates
Job interviews
Meeting new people
Deep conversations
Expressing disagreement
Being assertive
Digital Interactions
Video calls
Group chats
Social media engagement
Online networking
Virtual meetings
Digital socialising
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Fear and worry about how you come across and what other people think of you.
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Body Sensations
Racing heart
Sweating (especially hands and face)
Shaky voice
Muscle tension (especially neck and shoulders)
Blushing/feeling hot
Butterflies in stomach
Dry mouth
Tight chest
Shallow breathing
Voice/Speech Changes
Voice trembling
Speaking too fast
Speaking too quietly
Voice becoming higher pitched
Words getting jumbled
Mind going blank mid-sentence
Struggling to find words
Body Language
Fidgeting
Difficulty maintaining eye contact
Hands shaking
Nervous laughter
Rigid posture
Crossing arms protectively
Playing with objects/hair
Cognitive-Physical Symptoms
Brain fog
Difficulty concentrating on conversation
Feeling disconnected from body
Heightened self-awareness
Feeling 'stuck in your head'
Difficulty processing what others are saying
Sensory overload in groups
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Safety Behaviours
Keeping phone in hand as a prop
Always holding a drink
Standing near exits
Finding tasks to look busy
Having a friend as a safety person
Preparing conversation topics in advance
Staying on the periphery of groups
Avoidance Strategies
Leaving events early
Making excuses not to attend
Arriving late to miss initial socialising and small talk
Looking at phone to avoid interaction
Taking frequent bathroom breaks
Sticking to "safe" people
Declining spontaneous invitations
Performance Strategies
Over-preparing for casual conversations
Rehearsing potential responses
Monitoring facial expressions
Planning exit strategies
Scripting social interactions
Practicing conversations beforehand
Always agreeing to avoid conflict
Self-Protection
Limiting self-disclosure
Avoiding eye contact
Speaking less in groups
Letting others lead conversations
Not expressing opinions
Staying quiet unless spoken to
Deflecting attention to others
Performance Anxiety
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Formal Settings
Work meetings
Academic presentations
Performance reviews
Speaking up in meetings
Being Observed
Working while being watched
Eating in public
Writing while others watch
Using a computer with others nearby
Being observed during tasks
Walking into a room
Being the centre of attention
Performance-Based
Music performances
Dance recitals
Sports competitions
Acting/theatre
Giving demonstrations
Teaching/leading groups
Social Performance
Making speeches at events
Wedding speeches
Birthday toasts
Leading social events
Being filmed/photographed
Speaking on camera
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Fear and worry about how you come across and what other people think of you.
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Shaking hands
Voice trembling
Excessive sweating
Racing heart
Nausea
Light-headedness
Difficulty breathing
Tight chest
Muscle tension
Mind going blank
Stuttering/stumbling over words
Face becoming flushed
Difficulty maintaining eye contact
Feeling frozen/paralysed
Tunnel vision
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Preparation
Over-preparing/rehearsing
Memorising scripts
Recording/filming self
Practicing excessively
Creating detailed notes
Having backup plans
Avoidance
Declining leadership roles
Avoiding spotlight moments
Sitting at back of room
Turning down opportunities
Making excuses
Calling in sick
Performance Management
Reading from notes
Speaking quickly to "get it over with"
Avoiding eye contact with audience
Focusing on friendly faces
Using props for distraction
Taking beta blockers/medication
Many people experience both types of interpersonal and performance anxiety. Both types of anxiety stem from a nervous system that's protecting you and is hypervigilent to perceived social threats.
Whether you're having a casual conversation or giving a presentation, the core fear is often the same: being seen as 'not enough' and risking rejection from the social group.
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