Shyness vs Social Anxiety vs Introversion: How To Tell The Difference?
Shyness v Social Anxiety
Many people use the terms "shy" and "socially anxious" interchangeably, but there are important distinctions between these experiences.
Shyness
Shyness is a natural personality trait.
It’s a natural tendency to feel hesitant or reserved in social situations.
As a shy person, you might:
- Take time to warm up to new people
- Feel uncertain in new social situations, but not necessarily fearful
- Once comfortable, hesitation normally leaves, and you feel better
- Shyness doesn’t tend to significantly impact your daily life
Social Anxiety
Social anxiety, on the other hand, is more fear based:
- An intense fear of social situations
- The fear impacts the way you live your life and your choices
- Anxiety doesn’t necessarily decrease even if you know people
- Can often spend hours overthinking past interactions
You can be shy and socially anxious, or you can be one or the other.
Remember, social anxiety disorder (SAD) is a diagnosable mental health condition, whereas shyness is not.
Both are valid.
Whether you're dealing with shyness or social anxiety, your experience is valid. Neither makes you "broken" or "weak" - they're different experiences that exist on a spectrum of human social responses. The key is understanding which you're dealing with so you can find the right strategies to help you live the social life you want!
If you're unsure where you fall on this spectrum, or if your social fears are impacting your daily life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide a proper assessment and guide you toward the most helpful support options for your specific situation.
Introversion vs Extroversion vs Social Anxiety
Being introverted or extroverted, is not the same as being shy versus outgoing – it’s about where you get your energy from and how you relate and process the world around you.
In summary, it’s our inclination towards the inner and outer word [1].
Introverts can be shy and/or socially anxious, but this isn’t what introversion is about.
Introverts:
- Recharge through alone time
- Process information deeply before responding
- Can feel tired after prolonged socialising
- Can be highly social with adequate recovery time
- Tend to think through problems alone
Introverts may have low social motivation sometimes; however, it is not due to having a lack of social skills, and most introverts function well in social situations [2].
...and extroverts aren’t always loud party lovers.
Extroverts:
- Gain energy through social interactions
- Process information through external discussion and debate
- Are energised by spending time with others
- Can feel restless or low after too much solo time
Interestingly, it is also how much you identify with these labels that make them meaningful or not.
For example, one study found that people who identified as introverted, reported feeling happier when they acted in extraverted ways [3]. Why? Because those behaviours were in-line with important goals and identities for them, for example, getting a date and starting a relationship.
It's therefore a fluid situation as to what point introversion and/or extroversion becomes relevant to your social nature – or not.
References:
1. Tuovinen S, Tang X and Salmela-Aro K (2020) Introversion and Social Engagement: Scale Validation, Their Interaction, and Positive Association With Self-Esteem. Front. Psychol. 11:590748. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.590748
2. Costa, P. T., and McCrae, R. R. (2006). Revised NEO Personality Inventory (NEO PI-R), UK Edn. Oxford: Hogrefe.
3 Fleeson W, Wilt J. The relevance of big five trait content in behavior to subjective authenticity: do high levels of within-person behavioral variability undermine or enable authenticity achievement? J Pers. 2010 Aug 1;78(4):1353-82. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00653.x. Epub 2010 Jun 1. PMID: 20545814; PMCID: PMC2908394.