4 Key Tips for Managing Social Anxiety - Expert Guide
Living with social anxiety can feel overwhelming, but there are practical ways to manage it.
Here are four key evidence-based strategies that can make a real difference in how you handle social situations. However, none are a replacement for therapy, so do seek help if you need support!
1.Regulate your nervous system
If you’re likely to face a socially anxious event, it’s likely your fight or flight response will be triggered. By expecting this, we can prepare. While we can’t always control our socially anxious stress response, we can manage the factors that impact its intensity.
This means we can avoid ‘up-regulators’ (things that stimulate fight or flight):
Coffee
Social media
Energy drinks
Alcohol
Nicotine
Sugary food
Rushing/running late
Intense discussions
And engage in more ‘down-regulators’ (things that can stimulate a calm response in our nervous system):
Exercise
Calming activities
Speaking to supportive friends or family
Whatever is calming and relaxing to you
Nature exposure
Time with pets
Familiar routines
2. Use the CARE Technique to stop anxiety in it's tracks
Anticipatory anxiety about social anxiety creates a spiral effect that is entrapping. The more we worry about being socially anxious in a situation, the more anxious we are when we get there.
I’ve created a technique for this very situation, it’s called CARE and you can find a full worksheet on it in my free resources page here.
I’ll also link directly to the free PDF download here: DOWNLOAD CARE!
Fundamentally, it’s a technique that helps break the anxiety cycle and give you back some control in your response to social anxiety.
3. Stop beating yourself up
The more you berate yourself for struggling with social anxiety, the more you stimulate your fight or flight response, adding to the issue.
Your response makes evolutionary sense. As humans we are wired to fear rejection and seek belonging. Almost everyone gets social anxiety in some situations, and you’re not alone nor broken.
4. Practice external focus
During social anxiety, we tend to go internal - focusing on how we are coming across and what we are doing.
When you notice this, try to catch it and shift your focus back externally.
This might be:
Listening to every vowel of what someone is saying
Listing all the colours on their clothes
Paying attention to every syllable of conversation
Pressing your toes into the floor and feeling the sensation
Whatever works for you, but the most important element is that you shift back outwards.
The difference between internal vs. external focus in social anxiety, and the consequences.
Remember: You Can Handle This!
Social anxiety may feel overwhelming, but you're equipped with effective tools to manage it:
Regulate your nervous system
Use the CARE technique
Remember it's normal
Practice external focus
These strategies won't eliminate anxiety overnight, and that's okay.
Progress happens gradually! If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional who specialises in social anxiety – that's what we're here for.
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